That was disgusting

Tonight I heard one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard in a public restroom. I went to Bill's Gamblin' Hall & Saloon (formerly the Barbary Coast) to check out their new poker room, and I stopped in the bathroom to urinate. There was a guy in one of the stalls telling the bathroom attendant to call his friend up in their room to bring him a new pair of shorts because "this is just a mess." The attendant seemed anxious to help him perhaps because he was expecting a nice tip after assisting in the messy situation. Seriously though, I don't even want to know what happened there or how it came to pass that this guy needed a new pair of shorts.

Anyway, Bill's now has two poker tables but neither one was in use. Sunday nights are slow, and Vegas is dead right now, so I guess I wasn't shocked. I ended up walking down to Imperial Palace and played short handed 1-2 NL for about an hour before that game broke. I saw Las Vegas Michael and a couple of other AVP'ers there playing a mixed game. I was tempted to join, but as low as my bankroll is right now, I can't afford to play anything that I don't feel like I have a decent chance of winning at...

Classic Las Vegas Part I: The Plaza

The Plaza (formerly known as the Union Plaza) has anchored Fremont Street since it opened in 1971. At the time of its opening, it was billed as the "Largest Casino in the World." When you walk through today you would have a hard time believing that it was ever considered large given the scope of all the mega-resorts that populate Las Vegas today. Perhaps the Plaza was considered upscale when it first opened but I believe it's been a long time since it was considered anything other than a cheap place to stay and gamble. In recent years as the scars of time have grown more pronounced and the bar has been raised higher and higher by the newer resorts, the Plaza is quickly approaching that inevitable "dive" status.

We went there to play bingo recently and the first thing that struck me was how scary the parking garage was. I felt like if my car was a couple of feet taller it would have been in danger of scraping the roof. When we first entered the garage I couldn't help but notice that a pimp dressed in bright red and holding a pimp stick appeared to be trying to break into a 1970's era Cadillac. It could have been his for all I know, but it wasn't something that I wanted to stick around to find out. Walking through the casino in search of the bingo room you almost felt like you were back in the 70's, or at least that's the last time it seemed like the place had been cleaned. We finally found the bingo hall upstairs, and after playing in many bingo rooms in this city I have to say that the Plaza's does the best job of perpetuating the stereotype of what bingo is all about and who plays it. Here everybody was truly old, smoking, and often wearing polyester. OK not everybody, but a higher percentage than at any other place I've played at so far. That being said, it was a good experience overall and I enjoyed the many different variations they presented, including something called Crazy Kite and Wild Postage Stamp, or something like that, which I'm still not sure what it means.

Needless to say, we did not win.

On the way up to the bingo room (or of course on the way down after your hopes and dreams have once again been crushed and you are stuck $7 or $8), you pass what can only be described at the most depressing wedding chapel in Vegas.

The main thing that I find so saddening is that it appears to be a very large prison call. I really don't get the bars or why they need to be there. I should hope that they open the gate up when there is a ceremony going on, or perhaps you can request that it remain shut after everybody has entered to ensure that person you are about to marry doesn't get cold feet and try to escape. I'm not sure how drunk you have to be to decide it's a good idea to get married at the Plaza, but really, is it any worse than the drive-thru chapel on Las Vegas Blvd?

The Plaza has been featured in some movies over the years. Most memorable for me is the scene with Robert De Niro and Sharon Stone in Casino where they are eating in the dome restaurant and they start arguing and De Niro almost knocks over a glass of water because he's like mad at her for being a lying, cheating whore with drug problems.
We wandered over to the dome and sadly it appears that it is no longer a restaurant and has been converted to a sports bar. Apparently the sports bar is not very popular among visitors to downtown because it was largely deserted on a Saturday afternoon. Of course that could be because the only sporting event going on at the time was golf...

We also observed the buffet while walking through the casino. It is called the 777 Buffet and the gimmick is that the price is $7.77 all day, every day. If I had to choose between eating here and eating at the Circus Circus buffet, I'd probably choose the Circus. Then again, if starvation was a third choice, I'd have to go with that. This buffet looked downright scary...

If it sounds like I am bashing the Plaza, please, don't get me wrong. I tend to favor the dives over the sparkling new generic mega-resorts, and the Plaza does have it's own special kind of.... attitude. It's an attitude that basically says: "If you want class, go to the Wynn. If you want to play the penny slots and get drunk on cheap booze, come on in!" I can see going back there to play bingo, or perhaps play some drunken blackjack, but I won't get married there or eat at the buffet. I have to draw the line somewhere.

WTF is wrong with me sometimes?

Only in Vegas...

I have this number on speed dial...

Poor Las Vegas...

Times are really tough out here for the casinos. For instance, in the month of March, they only won a paltry $1.04 billion from gamblers. This is a 1.5% decline when compared to March of 2007. I don't know how they can continue to operate with a take barely above $1 billion. I think everybody should do their part and wager a little extra on the penny slots next time they come. As a local I'm going to do my part and take all the money I would use to play poker and instead bet it all on the Bix Six wheel. If I win I'll feel bad and go over to the craps table, where I'll lay the whole thing on the hard six (which has something like a 10% house advantage) and if by some bizarre happenstance I win again, I'll keep doing it 'till I lose. I have to do my part...

RETURN TO THE TABLES!

Tonight I played live poker for the first time in over a month. It's not that I can suddenly afford it or anything, I was just bored and didn't feel like staying home again tonight. I went down to the South Point and played about 3 hours of 1-2 NL, and I finished ahead about $160. It was a good feeling to have a winning session after such a long layoff, but my lack of play lately made me feel rusty and I never really felt like I had a groove going. Most of my proft came from one hand where I called a $10 pre flop raise with JT (which I don't normally do) and flopped an opened ender. The original raiser bet $20, I called and then pushed all in when I hit my straight. He called right away and when the board paired on the river I thought he might have a boat, but he mucked and I never got to see what he had. That was about a $250 pot. Nothing else too memorable, except an older guy at the table got mad at a younger guy over something and called him a "young punk." For a minute it looked like they might come to blows but thankfully nothing happened. By the way, the old guy looked and talked a lot like Vito Corleone in The Godfather which made the incident all the more scary....

Derby Day!

Sunday was the Kentucky Derby and there was a lot going on here in Vegas. The day started down at Binion's where we had breakfast. It's been a long time since I ate at Binion's coffee shop, but nothing much has changed. It's still pretty good even though Binion's itself is no longer one of my favorite hangouts.

From there we took a walk over to what I expected to be the seedy El Cortez, but it turned out to be not nearly as trashy as I always thought it was. This was the first time I ever step foot in the place, and we were drawn there by the promise of a free glass with any wager of $20 or more on the Derby. I've bet on the race online in years past but this was the first time I've ever wagered in an actual casino. After getting some help from the friendly book maker I placed $20 on..... gee, I can't even remember what horse I bet on, but I bet it to show meaning it only had to come in 3rd place or better, it didn't actually have to win. This kind of bet pays out less than if you bet the horse to win outright, but you have a better chance of winning. Cherise bet on some other horse I can't remember, but needless to say neither of those bets ended up paying off. We did get our glasses though!

We headed back to Binions and Cherise signed up for a Club Binions card. They promised her a free t-shirt if she earned 100 points (carrot on a stick approach) and like a true sucker (haha) she headed to the video slots to try to rack up those points for the free t-shirt. I'm not sure how much she ended up spending but in the end she did get that free t-shirt. I have to say I was a little jealous...

Next it was off to the South Point where an official Kentucky Derby party was being held. We made our way upstairs to one of the ballrooms and it was packed with several hundred racing aficionados, or perhaps people like us who just wanted to be part of the whole scene. I placed two more bets, both on horses to show, for $20 each, and I got a free hat, free beer, and a free hot dog coupon! Woo hoo! We got our beers (we both passed on the food) and found an empty table to sit down and watch the race at. Some guy sat down next to me and asked me if my hat belonged to me, because somebody stole his. I told him not to touch my hat or I would call security and have him escorted out of the building. Then I stared him down and made a gesture of a knife across the throat. Shortly after that he got up and found another table to sit at.

Finally, after much anticipation, the race began. It's funny that the biggest racing event of the year only lasts a couple of minutes, but those two minutes really are exciting while they last, especially when you have money on the race. When all was said and done the favorite, Big Brown, finished in 1st place. They always say never bet on the favorite, but in this case it would have been a good idea. As for me, one of my two bets was on Eight Belles to show, and she ended up finishing in 2nd which gave me a payout of about $60.00 on my $20 bet. Overall that $40 profit ended up canceling out the two losing $20 bets I made, so all in all the day was a wash for me. Can't complain about that.

In a tragic note, my horse, Eight Belles ended up breaking both of its front ankles at the end of the race and had to be euthanized on the track. I've never understood why horses are usually put down whenever they break legs or ankles. If a dog breaks its leg it can recover. Why can't horses recover from broken legs? I'm not a vet, so I have no idea. I'm sure there's a good reason though. The tragedy of Eight Belles put a somber note on the whole event, but I guess that's a risk involved with the sport. Just like a boxer can be killed in the ring, or a football player can suffer a deadly injury on the field, horses are also at risk.

My winning ticket...

That's all for tonight. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

Luke the Babysitter??

Today Cherise had an appointment to look at an apartment kinda down near here so she dropped Kiefer off at my place and I watched him for about a half hour. I was kinda nervous about being alone with a young child but thankfully everything went OK. He was still alive and in one piece when she returned. She also made sure that he was fed and changed before she left, so I really didn't have anything to worry about other than entertaining him. He seemed to enjoy sitting on my exercise bike even though he's about 9 feet too short to be able to use it. I tried to show him how to play the Wii (by the way, I got a Wii!) but he didn't really seem to understand the concept. The main thing he was into was going into my storage closet and dragging all of my moving boxes out. He even climbed into one of them and had me pushing him around in it. I remember being into that when I was a kid!

It has been forever since I blogged. Hope my readers have not given up on me.

I got entered into a free slot tournament at the Palazzo a couple weekends ago. First place paid something like $5,000. You had to finish in the top 40 or so in order to get paid anything, and I finished around 60. Still, not too shabby considering that there were about 300 people in the tournament. Maybe next time I'll practice my button pounding technique a little more. In the above picture I had just hit triple blazing 7's good for 1199 points. Alas it was not enough.......

Here's a picture of me with my people at Caesars Palace. Cleopatra or whoever there was trying to cop a feel and I had to tell her to please move here hand up.

Kentucky Derby tomorrow! This is the one day of the year that I pay attention to horse racing. Check back to see how I did...